If Not Now, Then When?

It's hard to believe I'm fifty sometimes, especially when I'm going about my daily life—managing my business, writing this blog, living in my comfortable routines. But then I get together with old friends, and reality hits: we're all getting older.

You know how your brain does that thing where it freezes people in time? You think about someone and immediately see them in a specific moment—on that vacation to the lake, at that New Year's Eve party, during that crazy weekend adventure. But then you stop and do the math and think, "Oh my God, that was 25 years ago!"

How does that even happen?

The Birthday Party That Made Time Real

That's exactly what happened to me this past weekend at a friend's 60th birthday party. (Sixty! When did we get old enough to have friends turning sixty?) I hadn't seen some of these people in quite a while, yet within minutes, we fell right back into conversations like we'd just picked up from last weekend.

The reminiscing started immediately. Remember that trip? That party? That absolutely ridiculous thing we did? (Yes, we got a little wild back then—but what happens in the '90s stays in the '90s!)

But then something shifted. The conversations evolved from "remember when" to "did you hear about..." Children's graduations and weddings. Parents aging and needing more care. Senior trips and empty nesting. Health concerns. Retirement planning.

Our topics used to revolve around when we were getting married, having babies, what drink to order next, or where our next group vacation would take us. Now? We're discussing which colleges our kids chose, whether Mom should still be driving, and the benefits of various joint supplements.

When Did Everything Change?

It's been years since our "vacation group" actually went on a vacation together. Life happened, as it does. A few divorces brought new partners into the fold. Some people moved away. Others just drifted as schedules and priorities shifted.

But standing there at this party, laughing and catching up, I couldn't help thinking: Why can't we do more of this now?

We're in a completely new chapter, after all. For most of us, our kids are older—many are grown and out of the house. We have more freedom than we've had in decades. So why aren't we using it to reconnect with the people who knew us when?

The Beauty of Being Fifty and Together

Here's what I really enjoyed about this gathering: the ease of it all. We could go out for a few drinks but didn't need so many that we'd feel terrible the next day (or three). We could have deep, meaningful conversations about who we actually are now, not just who we used to be. We could appreciate each other's growth and changes instead of trying to recreate the past.

And honestly? Being home by 11:30 and considering that "late" felt perfectly right. There's something wonderfully liberating about not needing to prove anything anymore—not our stamina, not our party skills, not our ability to rally after three hours of sleep.

The Invitation I'm Making to Myself (and You)

I wish those conversations had continued longer. I wish the laughter had kept flowing. But here's what that night gave me: motivation.

I'm done wallowing at home waiting for something to happen—though I'm not entirely sure what I was waiting for in the first place. I'm going to set something up. Invite people over.

Reach out instead of hoping someone else will.

Because if not now, then when?

To My Fellow Fifty and Seasoned Friends

If you're like me and have lost touch with old friends—the ones who knew you before mortgages and minivans, before career stress and caregiving responsibilities—do something about it.

Make the call. Send the text. RSVP to that party invitation even though your couch and 9:30 bedtime are calling your name.

Yes, it takes effort. Yes, it means putting on real clothes and leaving the house. Yes, you might feel a little melancholy when you realize how much time has passed.

But you'll also laugh until your face hurts. You'll remember who you were and appreciate who you've become. You'll realize that these friendships—the ones that span decades—are rare and precious and worth the effort.

We're not getting any younger, friends. But that doesn't mean we can't get together.