When the World Feels Heavy: A Reminder About Our Humanity

I have to be frank - I can't write my usual upbeat, humorous blog post this week. My mind has been swirling with thoughts that are making it hard to find the funny. And honestly, maybe that's okay. Maybe we all need to sit with the heavy stuff sometimes.

In case you didn't know, I live in Minnesota. And in case you hadn't heard, it's been a little heavy around here lately. The hostility, anger, and sadness feels reminiscent of 2020 and George Floyd. I find myself mourning what this world has become, fearful that we're losing our humanity. We're being told to believe what someone says, not what we see with our own eyes.

That takes me back to some difficult times in my own life.

When Authority Abuses Power

When I was a graduate student, I had a leader who systematically tore us down. She'd smile pleasantly when visitors were present, but the moment the door closed, fire shot from her eyes. We were threatened and punished for small infractions - saying the wrong thing, asking a question she didn't like.

I watched my friends and entire cohort shrink under her intimidation. I knew, logically, that she couldn't actually follow through on most of her threats. But I was still intimidated by someone in a position of power.

I didn't sit idly by. I eventually brought it to people who could do something. They fired her. But the cost was steep - her "followers" and "minions" made the rest of my graduate experience unbearable. I walked away without finishing.

The Roots of Judgment

Being bullied stays with you.

When I was a kid in a diverse Chicago suburb, I was chased home from school by kids yelling "carrot top" and worse. Yes, you read that right - I was bullied for having red hair. It sounds ridiculous, but those tear-filled walks home shaped me. My mom would say, "they're just jealous" or "you'll appreciate it when you're older." Maybe she was right, but the wounds remained.

I thought I'd leave that childishness behind in childhood. I was wrong.

People, by nature, are judgmental. According to research in psychology, being judgmental is rooted in how our brains evolved to make quick assessments for safety and social belonging.

We judge others rapidly using mental shortcuts, often dividing people into "us" and "them," relying on the limited knowledge stored in our personal "buckets" of experience. Judgmental behavior also arises from projection - criticizing traits in others that we dislike in ourselves - along with insecurity, social comparison, and unresolved emotional wounds from childhood.

I root my judgments in my personal buckets. Childhood wounds, bad experiences with people, and a lifetime of lost trust have framed how I see the world and other humans. Someone I trusted once told me I had to change that viewpoint. It felt like a doctor saying, "you should lose weight" without telling you how.

As far back as I can remember, I've had a "slow to warm up" personality. I don't instantly trust. I'm skeptical from the start. People have to earn my trust - I don't freely give it. But that doesn't mean I'm cruel or unkind. I feel great empathy for people. And now that I'm older, I'm even less forgiving of cruelness and inhumanity in others. It disgusts me. It makes me want to take action, or at least give a hug.

When Loss Puts It All in Perspective

My week has been off not just because of the unrest where I live, but also because I learned about an old colleague's passing. She was just 51. We worked at two companies together and had our second babies at the same time. Her death was sudden and unexpected.

Much like the woman recently shot by ICE agents, her children are now left without their mother. Her life was cut short.

It's one of those moments that makes you stop and think. Re-evaluate what you have.

Appreciate each breath. Remember that humanity is one of the most important things we can give to one another.

A Call to Remember

I hope you read this and take a moment to think not politically, but humanly. Think about your children, your siblings, your neighbors, your coworkers. Love them. Support them. Care about them.

Be a good person. Feed a hungry person. Be a friend to the friendless. Thank whatever God you believe in for all that you have in this short life we're living on this Earth.

Because in the end, our humanity is all we really have.