Still Figuring It Out at 50 (& That's OK!)

Here I am, half a century into this wild ride called life, and I'm still trying to figure out who I am. If you'd told my 25-year-old self that I'd be taking personality tests in my 50s like some kind of professional self-help enthusiast, she probably would have laughed. Yet here we are! And honestly? I'm having more fun with it than I expected.

If you're also in the "Wait, who am I again?" club, welcome—grab a coffee and let's figure this out together.

My Love Affair with Personality Tests

I've become something of a personality test connoisseur over the years. It started innocently enough in college at UW-Stevens Point (the birthplace of wellness—how's that for perfect timing?). The Myers-Briggs test was my gateway drug, and I was hooked from the first "Ah-ha!" moment when I learned that being an introvert wasn't a character flaw but just how I'm wired. Who knew?

Then came Gallup StrengthsFinder, which basically told me I have superpowers. Well, sort of.

My "Superpower" (Or: How I Learned I'm Apparently Rare)

Turns out my number one strength is Significance—which sounds impressive until you learn it only shows up in about 6% of the population. I'm like a personality unicorn, but instead of rainbows and magic, I come with an intense need to make an impact and do things my own way.

According to Gallup, people with Significance "want their work to be a way of life rather than a job" and have "yearnings that feel intense." That's a fancy way of saying I'm the person who turns everything into a mission and probably takes things more seriously than necessary. (My family can confirm this—just ask them about my approach to vacation planning.)

The Independence Paradox

Here's where it gets interesting (and by interesting, I mean slightly complicated). I've always been praised for being independent, which sounds great until you realize "fiercely independent" is often code for "good luck working with her in a group."

Suddenly, my hatred of college group projects made perfect sense! I wasn't just being difficult—I was being authentically me. Though I'm pretty sure my classmates would have preferred a less authentic version during those semester-long assignments.

Plot Twist: I'm Also an INFP

Recently, I retook the Myers-Briggs test (because apparently, I enjoy psychological homework) and discovered I'm an INFP. Another rare breed! We're the quiet, imaginative types who "apply a caring and creative approach to everything." We also tend to feel "lonely or invisible, adrift in a world that doesn't seem to appreciate the traits that make us unique."

Well, that explains a lot.

The Lightbulb Moment

Here's what clicked: Significance + INFP = one beautifully complicated human being. I need independence but crave purpose. I want to help everyone but need to do it my way. I avoid conflict yet desperately want to be valued. No wonder corporate life sometimes felt like wearing shoes that were stylish but never quite fit right!

The description that really got me was about INFPs feeling "directionless or stuck until they connect with a sense of purpose." Guilty as charged! I'm apparently part of the "tortured artist" club, except instead of writing brooding poetry, I overthink blog posts and reorganize my spice cabinet when I'm feeling existential.

The Beautiful Mess of Self-Discovery

What I'm learning is that understanding your strengths and quirks isn't about fixing yourself—it's about working with yourself instead of against yourself. Yes, I can be inflexible. Yes, I sometimes exhaust myself trying to help everyone. And yes, I occasionally drive people crazy with my need to do things "the right way" (which is obviously my way).

But I'm also learning to laugh at these traits instead of fighting them. After 50 years, I figure I've earned the right to be a little set in my ways.

The Journey Continues (Unapologetically)

So here I am, still discovering who I am and what I want from this next chapter—but now I'm doing it without the pressure to become someone else in the process. Turns out you don't have to have it all figured out by 50, and you definitely don't have to apologize for who you are while you're figuring it out.

The goal isn't perfection or palatability; it's understanding yourself well enough to lean into what works, laugh at what doesn't, and stand firmly in your own truth. At 50, I'm finally learning that the right people will love you for who you are, not who you think you should be.

If you're on a similar journey of self-discovery, know that you're in good company. We're all just figuring it out as we go—one personality test, one moment of self-acceptance, and one unapologetic choice at a time.

What about you? Are you a fellow personality test enthusiast, or do you prefer the mystery of not knowing your "type"? I'd love to hear about your own journey of self-discovery—the messier, the better!