Our Dinner Pics: A Love Language From Afar

Last night, something happened that doesn't happen often: my daughter and I made something very similar for dinner. We both had pork chops—hers with an Asian-inspired spin, mine grilled with twice-baked potatoes on the side.

How do I know this? Because we send each other pictures of our dinners. Every single night.

How It Started

A few years ago, when my daughter moved into her "adult" life and started cooking dinner each night for her and her boyfriend (now fiancé, soon to be husband), we began sharing pictures of what we were making. I honestly don't remember which one of us sent the first photo, but it's become a tradition we rarely miss.

She's lived several hundred miles away from me ever since she went to college. For the past seven years or so (minus when she came home during Covid and a few summers), she's been on her own. One of the first things she did when she got her own place was start to cook.

She asked me questions. I shared some basic recipes. But she really took off on her own, building her own style, discovering her own likes and dislikes. (She's the one who doesn't like lasagna!)

When She Really Started Cooking

It wasn't until she moved in with her "lovely" that she had someone else to cook for—and that's when she really took off. She started acquiring more kitchen tools and utensils. Pretty soon she had a crockpot and an air fryer. Her cooking became more complex and varied.

And then one day, she sent me a picture via text of what she made for dinner. I sent one back. (Or maybe it was the other way around—neither of us remembers exactly.)

That started it. Our tradition of sending our dinners to one another (these are all pics she sent to me of her delicious dinners!).

What It Means

This has become a love language between us. Sometimes it's the only communication we have in a day when we're both busy or things get a little chaotic.

From time to time, we send pictures of what we're eating at a restaurant instead of a homemade meal. We often exchange photos of meals from Home Chef or HelloFresh (because not every day is inspirational!). We share pictures of boxes with half-eaten pizza inside or little white containers of Chinese food.

I told her I was going to write this blog, so I asked her what these daily pictures mean to her.

This is what she said (I teared up a little when she sent this!):

"It's a way for us to still stay connected even living separately. It's a skill and thing I like to do that I got from you and learned from you. It's a way to swap recipes or try something new. A little boost and compliment from my mom who is such a fabulous cook to tell me my meal looks good or you'll have to try it."

More Than Just Food

Cooking, for many, really can be a form of sharing love. But for us, it's what connects us, as she says (us - then and now above).

I look forward to getting my picture each evening, and I'm always sure to snap a photo of mine before I start eating. (Okay, I've forgotten a few times!)

I am so proud of her—not just for what a wonderful cook she's become in her own household, but for the fact that she's created her own home, built her own family, career, and future. As a mother, it's what you always hope for your children.

She may not be under my roof anymore, but every evening when I get those pictures, I feel like she's still right beside me—my little blonde, curly-haired girl, just playing "house."

But then I remember: No, she's this amazing young woman who's taking on the world every day and building a better place for the next generations (when they come someday).

I can't believe sometimes that my little girl is all grown up. But I wouldn't want it to be any other way.